Let’s talk SEX….

“I like my sex the way I play basketball, one-on-one with as little dribbling as possible.”

– LESLIE NIELSEN

_f9r6741Yep, that’s right, it’s time we talked about sex. You know, the big F word…. The “See you next Tuesday” kinda thing. Iiiiiinhale… Eeexhale and get a hold of your knickers, ladies, ‘cause we ain’t gonna spare the deets. We’re cutting to the point, being straight, concise and whole-heartedly in the face. Soo…. Let’s start, shall we?

Many people see sex as a pleasure, like a naughty chocolate you sneak between your lips even though you’re on a strict pre-bikini diet, whilst others simply need it. Some find it an uncomfortable topic to talk about and others just go for the whole CENSROED sign and prohibit the natural act that makes us, well, natural.

But let’s face it; Sex is around us, it’s everywhere. Your parents have sex, your big (or little… hey, no judging) brother does it and if none of them are having it, your children are doing the thrusting-passionate kissing-under the stars act. Are you starting to see coloured spots and feel chills up and down your spine? There, there… Let’s not get all Jane Austin about it.

Your upstairs neighbour does it every weekend or so and the guy round the corner does it too. Haven’t you wondered where all the moaning and groaning comes from at night? The smiley postman who comes around (and always rings twice….), the kind policeman who stops traffic for the little kiddies on their bicycles, even your local baker which –btw- likes her big mammas out there, so everyone can take a peek. They all have (or have had) sex.

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And it’s not only who does it, but also what it is they exactly do. Movies, Ad campaigns (American Apparel anyone?), photographs, messages, texts, books, art… They state the facts: People like sex. We have proof that states it. A wide range of detailed pictures (kind of like an Ikea manual) left behind since Prehistory that report the act of nature. Seriously, we should thank whoever is up there (call it God, Nature…) that has enabled us to have sex and to continually have it (please, please, pretty please, allow us to still have sex until we, well, die).

Here’s a story that made things clear for me. Not only did it make me laugh, it also proved to me how awkward the human species really is when it comes to sex. The Giant of Cerne Abbas, also known as “The Rude Man” due to the erection of his (remarkable) big member, is a naked man carved on a hill alongside the River Cerne, in Dorset (England). Its origins date back to mid-seventeenth century and it was (and still is) believed to be the symbol of fertility. Matter-of-factly, it’s basically a hill where couples trying out the whole parenting thing went to, well, have children. They’d go there to do “the dance” to “summon magic” and this naked guy with a giant penis would assist in conception.

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We find it normal to think that people, at that time, believed in him. But it’s fascinating to think that four centuries later (more precisely, forty hundred six thousand and one hundred days) young and not so young couples still hike up there to mate and try to have little kiddos. Hell, it’s even a must-see touristic spot. Nevertheless, people find it awkward, disagreeable or even disgusting to talk about sex.

While my “Sexion” ends here (for now), I’ll let you meditate about the whole “giant man with a huge penis” thing. Please forgive my introversion, it’s my first time and…. Well, you never know how to enter (pun intended) something as wide as the sex jungle.

041-Cerne-Giant-c-National-Trust-Images1By Anna Masclans


 

“Yo juego al sexo igual que al baloncesto, marcando al contrario pero no pasándola de mano en mano.”

– LESLIE NIELSEN

Así es, esta vez vamos a hablar sobre sexo. Exhalar e inspirar queridos, porqué no voy a cortarme. Mucha gente ve el sexo como algo placentero, otros, necesario (puede que yo tire de esta rama). Algunos más cortados se les hace incómodo hablar del tema y para otra gente está prohibido (de eso ya hablaremos en otro rato).
Pero, seamos francos, ¡el sexo nos rodea, está en todas partes! Practican sexo tus padres y sino tu hermano, y si no son ninguno de ellos, son tus hijos. Lo hace tu vecino de arriba cada fin de semana o el del quinto piso que se le oyen los gemidos cada noche. El cartero que viene a casa cada dos semanas, el policía que acostumbra hacer el servicio por tu zona o la panadera de debajo de casa que, por cierto, no se corta con las delanteras. Vamos, todo el mundo.
Y no sólo es el quién, sino el qué. Películas, publicidad, fotografías, mensajes, textos, libros, obras de arte… Desde la prehistoria que hay constancia sobre este echo que nos ha dado la naturaleza y que sigue repartiendo y compartiendo en nuestros tiempos y que, por favor, continúe haciéndolo.
Os dejo con una pequeña historia que más que reír, me dio a pensar en cómo la mente humana es tan perversa.
El Gigante de Cerne Abbas, también conocido como The Rude Man por la portentosa erección de su miembro (masculino, claro está), es una escultura, podríamos decir, tallada en una colina junto el rio Cerne en Dorset, Inglaterra. Su origen se data a medianos del siglo XVII y entonces se creía que era el símbolo de fertilidad donde todas las parejas que no tenían hijos, debían ir allí hacer “el baile” para “invocar a la magia” y ayudar en la concepción.
Es normal que en esa época se creyera eso. Lo fuerte es que cuatro siglos después, (sonaran pocos, pero si contamos son cuatro ciento años. Para los más meticulosos, son ciento cuarenta y seis mil ciento días o también 146.100) aún hay jóvenes y no tan jóvenes que van allí a copular hasta el punto que el Gigante de Cerne Abbas se ha convertido en un punto esencial para el turismo.
Hoy acaba aquí. Aparte de estar un poco cortada por ser mi primera vez, nunca sabes cómo introducir (valga la expresión) algo tan ancho de parlas como es el mundo del sexo.
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