Starfucked

IMG_2768

Let’s face it. I’m living in the midst of a relationship crisis with my other half: coffee. I love coffee as much as Kurt Cobain loved his heroin and Michael Douglas liked (or still does) his sex… I’ve become an addict.

Never the less, my relationship with coffee had become one of those stable, same old same kinda thing. We knew each other’s every single move, the pros and cons, our nerve-wrecking obsessions…. Hell, I even knew that his left profile looked nicer on Instagram photos (he’s got this round, brown face that is difficult to capture on camera). It just became routinary, ordinary, predictable and downright boring. (It’s a routine when you chronologically-biologically KNOW the exact time you have to rush to the nearest toilette after a threesom with Mr. Cigarette….).

So I cheated. In came the third wheel, the secret lover, the affair, the bathroom texting while pretending to shower… I got Starfucked. Yes, that’s right. I committed adultery with an extra large Frappe Macchiato with salted caramel on the bottom, a dash of vanilla essence on the top and fluffy double cream (just to make things dirtier).

The thing is, I didn’t even enjoy it. I realized I was scavenging ferociously for all the little odds my man back home wasn’t giving me. Sure, I liked the soothing caramel, the cream cloud that dissolved into the never-ending coffee smoothie and the tingly vanilla smack. But I missed my dark, latin lover….. Let’s face it, he’s put up with me every single morning without minding the mad-woman-with-12-cats hair, not to mention the bad breath.

So we went to couple’s counselling and worked things out. I screamed, cried and let out all my frustrated feelings. He just bubbled away there. Finally, we stared at each others (wide as teacups) eyes and found the solution: In a heated situation…. Just put ice, godammit!

IMG_2770
Ingredients:

170 gr. of ground coffee beans

6 cups cold water

Milk (any of your choice)

IMG_2779

Recipe:

In a large container, place the coffee beans and cover with water. Soak the beans overnight (24 hours is ideal).

NOTE: Please, please, pretty please do not pour hot coffee over ice. This dilutes the pure, coffee flavor and also gives you yukky warm iced coffee. No bueno.

IMG_2771

Place a filter over another container and slowly pour the coffee mixture through, allowing all the liquid to drain through. You may need to help push the liquid through the filter. You can throw away the coffee grounds after filtering.

Place coffee in the fridge, in a sealed container and allow to chill until ready to use.

http---makeagif.com--media-8-15-2014-7s_pxq

To make a nice, yummy iced coffee: Place ice cubes into a glass, add the coffee (this depends on your personal taste… if you like it strong, pour about 4 fingers of coffee, but if you like it lighter just pour a few inches). Add milk of your taste and stir well. Taste and adjust milk and/or sweetener if needed.

http---makeagif.com--media-8-15-2014-qiF7CW

Sit back and enjoy!

IMG_2793

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s